What Do You Want Me To Do?
- JENIPHER ABAD -

The room was quite. The tiny crystal-like raindrops starts flowing from the rooftop. The light inside the room was mild enough that what was inside could be seen. A big oval-shaped family picture of summer could be seen hanging in the pinkish-white wall. The harmony of the played music could be hardly heard as the sobbing and loud sighing of a girl seated on the soft and smooth puce bed accompanied the melody of the music. That lady was me.
I can’t explain my feelings at that very moment , I felt depressed, lonely, regretful and seems I’m becoming paranoid, and that was because just that morning we had our recollection about my relationship with Him. Suddenly, someone touched my shoulder and softly wiping my back. I felt scared and alarmed. I was aghast when I looked unto that person seated next to me, it was Him. I know it was Him, the mark of kneels was still visible on His soft and delicate hands, that made me convinced without any hesitations that it was Him. To my amusement, I became speechless, I don’t know what to say, until He broke the silence with a question; “What do you want me to do?” After hearing those cold words coming from His mouth, it seems everything around stopped from its usual movements. I could hear nothing, could feel nothing and could say nothing. Tears started flowing on my cheeks, flowed and flowed. I took a deep breath and tried to open my mouth to say something, and fortunately, I did. Without any qualm I told him earnestly, “I want you to forgive me, I want you to have pity on me, all is darkness, sins surrounds me, please come to my aid, I want to see.” Help me not to be blind by worldly cares, help me to see the true light of life. I want to be back close to you like I was before.” That was my last words for I can’t take the feelings anymore; it became hard for me to breathe now because I was wailing. He hugged me tight, wipe my tears and softly, He whispered; “Take courage. Your faith will save you.”
Slowly, I open my eyes, wipe my tears and it’s only then that I’ve realized, “I’m dreaming!”
However, I felt blessed and at eased for even if in my dream, I was given a chance to talk to Him, to hug Him, to touch him and expressed to Him what I’ve really felt, straight from my sensitive heart. On the other hand, I felt sheepish because even to my sinfulness, even if I had caused him in pain and death, He still dared to asked me; “What do you want me to do?”
His love was really immeasurable and incomparable. Even if I was blinded by worldly things, interests and desires, even if I never noticed Him passing by my side, even if I neglected Him during the time when He was there waiting for me to call Him, even if I abused and took His love for granted, He still there asking ; “What do you want me to do?” Even if I tend to be insensible that He is there, that I felt His presence within me. Even if we forgot to acknowledge His gifts, but still He pardons me from all my sins, healed my ills and surrounds me with love and compassion and He still dared to ask me, “What do you want me to do?”
If you were in my situation at that moment, when He asked me; “What do you want me to do?” what will be your answer? Would you answer the same like what I did? How would you feel? Would you feel the same like what I felt? How would you react?
“What do you want me to do?’

MY REFLECTION

The discussion about our mother always evokes strong emotion in us. When we utter the word ‘mother’ it judicious different and we can’t mind the tears falling in our cheeks. When we try to appreciate her by telling others what she means to us or what a mother should be like or do, each of us has different understanding and expression.
My mother played a vital role in shaping my personality, what I am today, I owed a lot from her. And I guess she had an excellent dexterity in nurturing her children, and you can take me as a concrete example. It is in the womb of my mother in which my life receives a form suitable for living in this world. I’m alive and functioning physically and spiritually because of her.
Like what Mother Mary did to Jesus, my mother gave me all the nurture that a mother can possibly give to her child. Like Mary, whom the only human who is with Jesus from the time He is conceived into this world, to the time He is crucified, and even when the Holy Spirit descends at Pentecost. My mother also is always next to me every step of the way- be it for joy or for suffering. She contributes her whole life to our family. She has been the glue that holds our family together for she perpetually provide the loving care and support we needed.
Since I was born in this world and see its pulchritude, she gave me all the love I need. Her love serves as my armor and guide in facing all emulates that life brings. She gave me hope every time I lose one. She was the one who taught me to be near at God’s heart. She’s the one who woke up in the middle of the night every time I’m not feeling well. Because of me, she suffered a lot, just to provide me all my needs. Even if she’s tired, but she never mined it just to give me a brighter future. She’s the one directing me in the path I m walking right now. She was a humble and patience ever mother for even if I caused her a lot of pain because sometimes I spoke hurting words to her , and despite of her sacrifice for me , sometimes I dared to not giving her respect. But she dared to endure and still shows alacrity to help me, for my happiness is where she felt at ease. During the time I was desolated and weak, she’s the one who finds way to ease my sadness and never let me alone.
I can compare my mother to no one in this insipid yet wonderful world for she’s the best mother for me. She’ll do anything for me. She has the affectionate and forgiving heart. She’s even willing to give her life for us for no mother could dare to see her child in pain. She’s dakila higit sa lahat.
If I were given a chance to turn back time, she’s still the mother I want to be with , the mother I always grateful to be with. God is so good for giving me a perfect mother like Mother Mary.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit delete...
By Dr. Bob Moorehead

New Life

by Paul Bodet

I've been sitting around this life for years,
Not enough laughs and too many tears.
Trying to figure out where it all went,
These wasted years that I have spent.

Searching for something to go beyond,
Life's a stone skipping across a pond.
At the last skip, it hits with a splash,
Down the stone sinks, gone in a flash.

Pushing and pulling, it's tearing apart,
Poking and prodding an underused heart.
This dark velvet curtain that hides my soul,
Living this life has taken it's toll.

In a flash of bright light, the curtain is torn,
Tumbling down all tattered and worn.
Revealing new life, a child within,
Born free of hate, of suffering and sin.

Now my eyes see what has never been told,
Striving forth happy, confident and bold.
Into a world that's unfamiliar but friendly,
Into this new life my spirit will send me.

Living and laughing, loving it all,
I stood myself up and answered the call.
The darkness has gone, replaced by the light,
I gave up the darkness with hardly a fight.

I've been sitting around this life for years,
With laughter aplenty and hardly a tear.
Now I can see just where it all went,
Cherish every moment of this new life I've spent.