What Do You Want Me To Do?
- JENIPHER ABAD -

The room was quite. The tiny crystal-like raindrops starts flowing from the rooftop. The light inside the room was mild enough that what was inside could be seen. A big oval-shaped family picture of summer could be seen hanging in the pinkish-white wall. The harmony of the played music could be hardly heard as the sobbing and loud sighing of a girl seated on the soft and smooth puce bed accompanied the melody of the music. That lady was me.
I can’t explain my feelings at that very moment , I felt depressed, lonely, regretful and seems I’m becoming paranoid, and that was because just that morning we had our recollection about my relationship with Him. Suddenly, someone touched my shoulder and softly wiping my back. I felt scared and alarmed. I was aghast when I looked unto that person seated next to me, it was Him. I know it was Him, the mark of kneels was still visible on His soft and delicate hands, that made me convinced without any hesitations that it was Him. To my amusement, I became speechless, I don’t know what to say, until He broke the silence with a question; “What do you want me to do?” After hearing those cold words coming from His mouth, it seems everything around stopped from its usual movements. I could hear nothing, could feel nothing and could say nothing. Tears started flowing on my cheeks, flowed and flowed. I took a deep breath and tried to open my mouth to say something, and fortunately, I did. Without any qualm I told him earnestly, “I want you to forgive me, I want you to have pity on me, all is darkness, sins surrounds me, please come to my aid, I want to see.” Help me not to be blind by worldly cares, help me to see the true light of life. I want to be back close to you like I was before.” That was my last words for I can’t take the feelings anymore; it became hard for me to breathe now because I was wailing. He hugged me tight, wipe my tears and softly, He whispered; “Take courage. Your faith will save you.”
Slowly, I open my eyes, wipe my tears and it’s only then that I’ve realized, “I’m dreaming!”
However, I felt blessed and at eased for even if in my dream, I was given a chance to talk to Him, to hug Him, to touch him and expressed to Him what I’ve really felt, straight from my sensitive heart. On the other hand, I felt sheepish because even to my sinfulness, even if I had caused him in pain and death, He still dared to asked me; “What do you want me to do?”
His love was really immeasurable and incomparable. Even if I was blinded by worldly things, interests and desires, even if I never noticed Him passing by my side, even if I neglected Him during the time when He was there waiting for me to call Him, even if I abused and took His love for granted, He still there asking ; “What do you want me to do?” Even if I tend to be insensible that He is there, that I felt His presence within me. Even if we forgot to acknowledge His gifts, but still He pardons me from all my sins, healed my ills and surrounds me with love and compassion and He still dared to ask me, “What do you want me to do?”
If you were in my situation at that moment, when He asked me; “What do you want me to do?” what will be your answer? Would you answer the same like what I did? How would you feel? Would you feel the same like what I felt? How would you react?
“What do you want me to do?’